The most moving love letter for a pet
The American singer, Fiona Apple, canceled her tour of Latin America due to the illness and agony suffered by her pet, Janet.
This is the letter, a great gesture of love towards Janet:
It’s 6 in the afternoon on Friday and I’m writing to a few thousand friends that I do not know yet. I write to tell them that we have to change our plans and meet a little later.
What happens is this.
I have a bitch, Janet, and she has been ill for almost two years with a tumor that was drowsy in her chest and has been growing slowly. Almost 14 years old, I adopted it when I was four months old. I was 21 years old then, officially adult, and she was my daughter.
It’s a pit bull, they found it in Echo Park, with a noose around her neck and bites in her ears and in her face.
It was the one used by those who organized dog fights to give more confidence to those who were going to fight.
She’s almost 14 years old and I’ve never seen her start a fight, or bite, or even grunt, so I understand why she was chosen for that horrible job.
She is a pacifist.
Janet is the most constant relationship of my adult life, that’s a fact. We have lived in numerous houses and left behind a few provisional families, but always the two together.
And that is only the beginning.
She slept in bed with me, her head on the pillow, and accepted my hysterical and tearful face in her chest, her legs embracing me, every time I had a broken heart, or a broken spirit, or whenever I was lost, and according to The years passed and I was allowed to adopt the role of her daughter, while I slept, with her chin resting on my head.
I was under the piano when I composed my songs, barked when I tried to record something and was in the studio with me throughout the recording of the last album.
When I came back from the last tour, she was as vivacious as ever, she’s accustomed to me going a couple of weeks every six or seven years.
She has Addison’s disease, which makes it dangerous for her to travel because she needs Cortisol injections regularly, because she reacts to stress and excitement without the physiological mechanisms that the rest of us have and that keep us from literally panicking .
In spite of all this, she is incessantly happy and playful and only stopped behaving like a puppy about three years ago.
She is my best friend and my mother and daughter, my benefactor, is the one who has taught me what love is.
I can not go to South America. Not now.
When I returned home after the last part of my US tour. I noticed a big, big difference.
He does not even want to go out for a walk anymore.
I know you’re not sad to get old or close to death. Animals have an instinct for survival, but what they do not have is a sense of mortality and vanity. That is why they are countless more present than humans.
But I know that he is approaching the moment when he will stop being a dog, instead becoming part of everything. It will be in the wind, on the earth, and in me wherever I go.
I can not leave it now, please understand.
If I leave now, I fear she will die and I will not have the honor of singing for her while she sleeps, accompanying her as she leaves.
Sometimes it can take me 20 minutes to choose what socks to wear to go to bed. But this decision is instantaneous.
These are the choices we make, the ones that define us.
I do not want to be the woman who puts her career before love and friendship.
I am the woman who stays at home and cooks Tilpaia for my dearest and oldest friend. And it helps to feel comfortable, and clothed, and safe and important.
Many of us in these times fear the death of a loved one. It is the ugly truth of Life, which makes us feel terrified and alone.
I wish we could also appreciate the time that is near the end of time.
I know that I will feel an overwhelming knowledge of her, of her life and of my love for her in the last moments.
I have to do the impossible to be there then.
Because it will be the most beautiful, the most intense, the most enriching experience I have ever known in my life.
When I die.
So I stay home and I’m listening to her snore and breathing with difficulty and I delight in the most stinking and horrible breath that has ever come from the mouth of an angel.
I ask for your blessing.
With love, Fiona